Hurrah For Nice BT Engineers! (And Boo For Nasty Ones)

At some point between 09:23 and 09:25, my phone line went down. Guess who has a two-minute cron job ;)

After donning my deerstalker and popping my pipe into my mouth, I followed the trail of clues to the BT van parked in the driveway. I eventually located the driver of the van, just as he coming out of one of the upstairs flats.

"Good day to you sir! My telephone appears to have malfunctioned whilst you were in its vicinity! Might the two be connected?"

"No. F*** off."

Well, ok, neither of us used exactly those words, but I think that the ones I have selected better convey the level of politeness used by both parties.

Disgruntled, I spent 10 minutes locating the telephone book, eventually finding it in the first place I should have looked. I rang BT faults, and they promised to have someone out to me by Friday.

Dismay! Here was I, at 10:06 in the morning, facing the rest of the week without an internet connection? This is the stuff nightmares are made of! And flashbacks.

I decided that there was only one thing for it - I would have to commit myself to an action that would cause fate to bring the BT engineer at an inconvenient time. I could have gone to Starbucks, but that's a long walk back when a BT engineer is standing outside, so I did the next best thing - I put a quiche in the oven.

Sure enough, about 10 minutes later (with five quiche minutes remaining), my phone rang. The BT engineer was outside!

Hurrah! The nice BT engineer was very polite and friendly - the ones I get always are - and he traced the problem back to where the engineer from this morning had accidentally disconnected my cable at the box.

"Not my fault" my ass. You shall be hearing from my complaints secretary! As soon as she gets home from work - she has a late night at the dispensary today.

And now, if you will excuse me, it is time to return to my quiche.

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