Radiac Joins The Criminal Underworld

• 8th December 2005 at 10:46

Hello there. Just noticed that the advent calendar activity for today had a couple of bugs/lacking features, but have fixed it now.

In other news, on Tuesday I was stopped for shoplifting.

I'd been doing my Christmas shopping, and had been into many shops. And you know how when you walk around a shop and the alarms keep going off when other people walk through - well, that kept happening to me. Most shops I went into, but not all, which led me to believe it was just an extraordinary coincidence that it was everyone walking past me at the same time. Turns out I was wrong.

The last shop I went into, I beeped on the way in. The security guard took no notice. I walked round, bought my things, walked out, beeped again. Then the security guard comes running up to me and says "Excuse me sir, but I think you may have something in your bag which set off the alarm. Would you please come back inside?" Jokes.

The security guard took me to one side, and said in a please-dont-sue-me-if-I'm-wrong tone "I see you have lots of other bags - it's probably just something in one of those". He proceeded to stand at the door going through my many bags, waving each item through the alarms one at a time, while the hundreds of shoppers were all thinking "Hooligan shoplifter! Cut off his hands!" as they filed past.

"Qapla', as the klingons say", said the security guard when he found the offending item. At this point I no longer minded being stopped - this guy was a bona fide god-damned klingon-speaking trekkie, and as so deserved my utmost respect. "Success indeed!" I thought to myself, and informed him that I understood him - I do have the dictionary, said I. "Ahh, I have the survival guide," said he. "I thought I was the only one in this town." We nodded knowingly.

Turns out the problem item was the first thing I bought. They had forgotten to take out their little tag, and after that I'd blazed a trail of security alerts all round town. I would give you the long list of shops in Truro who don't care if you're shoplifting, but that would give away the secret sources of presents to anyone reading. That, and that you probably don't live in Truro anyway.

Comments

Leave a comment