We Still Love Labour
Today, our glorious leader Mr Brown announced measures to help people on low incomes who are struggling to pay their energy bills, and discounted insulation for the rest. That's nice.
However, I bring you an exclusive - my source inside the government has passed me this discarded early draft of his statement:
The taxpayer will pay for energy for the poor! What, you have a job? Already have insulation? Struggling to pay your rising mortgage, food bills and your own energy bills? Don't care - sell your house, downsize and give us the profit! You what, it's a market in freefall and you're in negative equity? Chuck the job, declare bankrupcy, sign on and qualify for your energy discount! Sorted! Who's going to pay for the energy when nobody's working? Not my problem - by then we'll have been voted out, and I'll be rolling in so much money from the lecture circuit that I won't care. Later, suckers - I'm off for a pint! Vote Labour!
Our economy is based almost entirely on services and cheap imports, with very little primary or secondary industry - and even those depend on fuel imports. This country has no inherent value. Our only exports are our sense of humour and David Beckham, and the international markets are just figuring that out. We're not the only country in this situation, but thanks to the short-sighted fiscal policies of our Labour overlords, we have no reserves to fall back on in our time of need. Citizens and government alike, it's less money in, more money out, and nothing left in the piggy bank.
Financially, it's the perfect storm. And the government's solution is to give us 50% off loft fluff.
Stupid and/or selfish politicians hunting for headlines got us into this mess, and they sure as hell aren't going to get us out. Enough is enough - we need to change the political system in this country to reward long-term decisions that are good for the country, rather than for the career options of MPs after they're forced from office.
And crap, now I'm on a watch list.
Comments
Don't you actually produce your own loft fluff? We do produce some here in Denmark, anyway - so you might get something out of that.
I know none of the details on the measures your mentioned, but it does seem like something that's hard to oppose publicly, even if it's a terrible idea - helping the poor pay their bills can't be something bad, can it? ;-)
We probably import it. Amusingly, we also import a lot of the people who install it for us, who in turn kindly export the money we give them to eastern europe ;)
We need to bring our industries back, going green could be a huge economic boon, not to mention being able to sell our green expertise and technologies to the rest of the world.
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