To Whoever Just Left Me 159 Spam Comments

Dear Comment Spammer,

Thank you for the comments you left on my diary. It didn't take me that long to set up the CAPTCHA to stop comment spam, and by spamming me 159 times you have reminded me how, if you want something done properly, you really should spend more than the best part of a day on it.

Thank you for showing me that my comment system is fallible, and that I'm falling behind in the fight against spam. While it is true that I have 6 months of work to cram into the next month or I'll start losing contracts and my business will falter, I'm sure I can find the time to go off and upgrade my anti-spam system.

I almost feel sorry for you. I mean, it must have taken you quite a while to come up with an algorithm to beat my CAPTCHA, or at least whoever you paid to implement one. And all to leave comments on my diary. Little old me - I feel so special. And then I go and delete them all with one SQL command? Who do I think I am, eh? They were only up there for 7 minutes; you must be quite upset.

But let's be honest, you should have guessed that I wasn't the best target. There were no spam comments sitting there in the archive, and I'd obviously spent a while writing a custom anti-spam system. I must care about my diary comments. You really should have taken the hint and moved on.

I realise that this might just be karma. Maybe you're just punishing me for something I did in a previous life. Something heinous - I'm guessing paedonecrobestiality while listening to mix tapes that I made by copying from other people's tapes.

I don't really care about your reasons though. I'm fed up with the 12,000 spams I get every morning before I wake up. I'm fed up with the way I keep losing legitimate e-mails in amongst the flood. I'm fed up with the way that no matter what I do, you just can't get the message that you're not welcome. I'm fed up that I have to take time away from my work to implement mail filters and human tests so that I can get the messages that are meant for me. I'm fed up with the way you abuse technology to make money out of other people's hard work, and at their expense. I'm fed up with the way I can't find a way to get you lot to shut the hell up. I've had enough - go find some other poor sap to bug.

Mr Spammer, you can tell your friends that I'm not giving up. This is my diary and my inbox, and you have no right to pollute them with your links to hairy girls and badger orgies. This is war, and I'll take whatever steps I must to protect my e-space. Your e-mails will not get through. Your comments will not survive. You will be deleted.

Stop wasting your time with radiac.net - the kittens are coming. You will find no quarter here.

Lots of love,

Richard

Comments

Michael Stubbs

I feel for you. Personally, not being a programmer and suffering RSI, I do not have the inclination to sort out an anti-spamming system for my personal Web site, so thanks to spammers, I am forced to simply remove the comments system from my site. If you take a look, you'll see how ridiculously full of spam it is. These people are gutter scum. I wish countries would enact serious penalties for people who do this. They ruin the Internet.

DavidH

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