Why the London olympics will suck

• 22nd March 2012 at 15:28

I have been passed a transcript which my source assures me is of the meeting where the olympic committee planned the design brief for the new GB olympic kit:

"After the disaster of our olympic logo, the terrible mascots, and the abysmal failure of our plan for ticket sales, we really need to come up with an amazing olympic kit for our athletes."

"Absolutely! Well, we've got this globally recognisable flag which is red white and blue, that's a start. But we don't want to be boring - how can we mix it up a bit?"

"I know, lets take out the red. Nobody will be expecting that!"

"Oooh, and lets introduce a new blue! How about Turquoise!"

"Excellent work, team! But I'm guessing someone will complain about the lack of red. Lets try to head off any criticism from the press - any ideas?"

"I know - red shoes!"

Everyone yells "Cheers!" as they raise their cocktails to each other, before relaxing back onto their sun loungers on the tropical beach where they hold their meetings.

It's a monumentally poor design decision, the latest in a series of monumentally poor decisions surrounding the games. People will be sitting at home watching the games on their TV (because nobody can actually get there in person) and they'll be saying "Who's that in white and blue? Finland? Argentina? Is the UN fielding a team this year? I thought we were in this race?"

Brace yourselves, people of earth. The entire olympics will be like this.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, organise the London Olympics.

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