So after much deliberation, I made my decision and went for a Dell XPS M1300. Thank you to everyone who helped me in the comments, but in the end it came down to a combination of size, features and price. The model I've ordered has everything I wanted, but for half the price I was originally expecting to pay; the other windows machines couldn't really compete.
The only other one that left was an Apple, but with the money I'll have left over from this I can buy myself a mac mini and still have enough to get a second screen. Or several Wii games and DVDs. Or several really nice meals. Or several really nice meals and several really painful sessions at the gym. Or any number of things.
However, I placed the order on Sunday 31st, and on Monday Dell gave me the expected delivery date. 25th of April.
Naturally, I assumed that this was a good-natured April fools prank on their part. You can imagine my surprise when I checked again today, and the date had not changed. I have e-mailed them to point out their mistake, but am still waiting for a reply.
Amusingly, since ordering my new laptop, my Vaio has stopped playing up, has not had the power flicker, and is holding its charge. Knew the damned thing was sentient when it decided to fail an hour before a deadline, but didn't realise it had evolved to the point it could sniff my network traffic. Scary.
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Tx and cheers!